I finally cried. I watched a video someone--who didn't even talk to her--posted and I lost it. I just wanted to say that...
*this is the link to that video*
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1710081123975&comments
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Wearing Orange
Yesterday, a girl at our school passed away, so in honor of her, today everyone wore orange. It was her favorite color. There were so many people in orange--shirts, ribbons, hair bands, bows. Anything. It was amazing. A sea of orange. But one thing really stood out. Some people don't really know how much others care about them until it's too late. I just keep thinking: If only she knew how many people cared and were wearing orange--even people who never knew her. Maybe, just maybe, she might have decided to not take her own life. I don't know what happened either, she always seemed so happy and energetic. She was very unique. I only got to know her a little. She was in the musical that I was the student director on. I had to put her mic on her every night. I remember how she brought a 2-liter bottle of mountain dew with her every night and was always dancing around and singing with her friends.
Today, at the end of the day, they took a picture of everyone wearing orange. It was a really big group--and not everybody was even there. It's been really sad the past two days. Everyone crying and such. I haven't cried though--I don't think I can. Because if I do, I won't stop. But I'm really not good with dealing with death or crying or emotions in general. I don't really know why, but that's just how I am.
It makes me sad to read all the comments on facebook and to hear how everyone cared about her, but she never knew. It really puts things into perspective.
My heath teacher today told us that at his age, nothing surprises him anymore. Sure, he was shocked at first, but that's all. And what scares me the most, is that's how I feel. I never get surprised anymore either. When I heard about Shannon, I was shocked--all day. But now it's starting to settle in and I just don't seem surprised.
One reason why I can't cry is because it reminds me so much of when my friend died last year. She was sick, but the doctors said she was getting better. And then her heart failed, and she was gone. What hurt the most was I couldn't even say goodbye because I was overseas at the time. I wanted so bad to come home and be there for her family--my best friend. But I couldn't. It was horrible. I miss her more and more each day..
Rest in Peace Shannon and Ashley. <3 <3
Today, at the end of the day, they took a picture of everyone wearing orange. It was a really big group--and not everybody was even there. It's been really sad the past two days. Everyone crying and such. I haven't cried though--I don't think I can. Because if I do, I won't stop. But I'm really not good with dealing with death or crying or emotions in general. I don't really know why, but that's just how I am.
It makes me sad to read all the comments on facebook and to hear how everyone cared about her, but she never knew. It really puts things into perspective.
My heath teacher today told us that at his age, nothing surprises him anymore. Sure, he was shocked at first, but that's all. And what scares me the most, is that's how I feel. I never get surprised anymore either. When I heard about Shannon, I was shocked--all day. But now it's starting to settle in and I just don't seem surprised.
One reason why I can't cry is because it reminds me so much of when my friend died last year. She was sick, but the doctors said she was getting better. And then her heart failed, and she was gone. What hurt the most was I couldn't even say goodbye because I was overseas at the time. I wanted so bad to come home and be there for her family--my best friend. But I couldn't. It was horrible. I miss her more and more each day..
Rest in Peace Shannon and Ashley. <3 <3
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Hello World
Today I decided to start a blog. I am going to college this fall and I thought it might come in handy at some point. This could either turn out to be a bad thing or an amazing thing. I am hoping for the latter. I will post my thoughts on certain things and what is going on in my life also. It's kind of like a place to vent where no one can get hurt except for me. :]] Wish me luck.
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